Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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