If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's not a walk of shame if you run
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
