this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
