I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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