You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
