I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
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