the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
