based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
