Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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