I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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