Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
