it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
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Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
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I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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