your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
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Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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