so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
