I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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