if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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