I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
