were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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