at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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