I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
