There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
