how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
