I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
