i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
