I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
