I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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