how can u be prego again
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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