i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just googled if crying burns calories
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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