she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
