Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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