Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
