There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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