Buhtt sex?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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