i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
