I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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