If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
