nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
