I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
