This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
