You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
