Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
