Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
