I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
