so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The uberlube is also flammable
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
