But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
