I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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