We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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