just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
