I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Randomize
