i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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