Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
