Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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