I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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