Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
