i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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