is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
