haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
