I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize