we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
