Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
