Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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