The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
