How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
