girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
