But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
