We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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