I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
