I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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