Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
