If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I understand Curling. That high.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!