I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.