One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY