I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
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He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
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There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on